Tea Break: Toh chai ho jaye !!

"What happened yesterday?", "Who was the girl with him?", "Which place it was?", "Why is that fix not working?", "How do you do it", "When is your project release", "What did you eat there?" .... all the 'W' in the world just come out like nowhere at this place. This is the place where questions and answers are just formalities and never taken seriously. This is the time and place where though casually, people probably discuss some of the most important and some of the least important things of their lives .. Yes its the tea break place !!!
Many people say that in this fast world, they really don't have time to socialize, they feel alone, they are just not able to balance work-life. Accepted, with so much competition around and time just squeezing it is very much possible to happen !! People plan a lot to just have a break from work and get refreshed. They go to psychiatrist to share there problem with them, join clubs where they share just few words with others (who really don't care), plan a hectic weekend with movie shows, some events and finally end up getting tired.
Movie, Outing, planned meeting, bowling, pool ... what not people keep to get recharged (this is hilarious, like battery we need to be recharged), but that's how it works out now a days. Taking life seriously than required is hampering the life itself. Talk only when you have a point is important but sometimes even light talk can make you feel much relaxed.
One goes office, work hard to get things done and finally you feel that your battery is down, you go home or just work with your showing up one pole (Yes, i am in mobile domain and i like talking in mobile terms). Obviously over the period of time if you spend almost half a day (8 hrs sleep)time at a place you would feel bored due to routine and look for some rechargers.
So this is where these tea breaks I think work as top ups (mobile :)), they simply rejuvenate you and push you to work efficiently and effectively in the later part of the day. With that clock showing 5pm,half of the work place is already down and look for some serious recharger, its a cup of tea that comes to our rescue. Many companies now a days is facing issues like new people coming in are not able to connect with the company culture. I mean what better place and time than a tea break place where one gets to know from CEO to security and from top execs to a new joinee. Managers hold many programs to team building event or moral budgets. What better place than this where you don't have to spend anything still you get to know about a person everything (nature, style, background, attitude)
Really, I love this place. According to me all the appraisals and team meetings should be done here (As I find this is the only place people speak what they really want to speak without any hesitation). What better place to get to know about people than this, where people are just what they are rather than fabricated ones.
After all people say "A lot can happen over a tea !". So whenever getting bored or exhausted always remember "Chai ho jaye !!"

Signal !! Cautious time from Red to Green !!

Yesterday I was riding from kormangala to Hebbal around 7 in evening. It took me more than an hour to ride just 13 kilometers. On my way I would have encountered 5-6 signals, the worst one was near Richmond road. When I reached this signal, first I though that there is some traffic jam, the signal was outta my sight, but later got to know its signal with traffic moving with frequent interval of time. During my 3-4 min there I observed that almost all the bikers have there vehicle engines ON. (Donno if they take pride saying that they have lotta petrol in there tank or money in pocket) Whatever but the ultimate the fact remains same: Wastage of petrol. No wonder We have petrol prices rising every year (oops !! rising every quarter :)).
I don't know why do people keep there engines ON, when the timer is still showing 128 secs. Probably people are not aware of the halke-fulke time passes. (Calling/smsing there girlfriend, seeing sexy banners around with hot models on them, looking around for some new fresh faces, reading some cool quotes on other bikers t-shirt (Careful on this u might end up in weird situation), for chain smokers a puff of smoke may be and lots more from some really creative people) Anyways keeping all this crap apart, I just wanted to analyze this complete situation at traffic signals. (Yeah Indians love analyzing, from budget to cricket to finance to movies, u name it and Indians would have analyzed it).
Bangalore has 15lacs vehicles out f which 70% are 2 wheelers i.e. approx. 10 lacs (http://www.bangaloretrafficpolice.gov.in/bangalore_traffic.htm) (Yeah its always safe to start with fact before going ahead with your crap analysis). 70% of them would be running on roads every day. Considering so many traffic signal in Bangalore, on an average each vehicle would be stopping for 10 mins on a signal and 70% of them wouldn't be turning of those vehicles is what I have observed (Yeah I like assuming 70% but that's what my rough observation is). So cumulative idle time would be (10 lacs * 70% * 70 % * 10min ) = approx 50,00,000 min. Now On an average 2 wheeler give an average of 40km/liter and may be 50 km/ hr so nearly 100000 liters of petrol wasted. This is the story about just one city imagine about those 10 metro cities of India, so just considering some top cities of India is wasting 1000k petrol on traffic signals (I am not a field analyst, neither I am great at estimating and have done a thorough study of these number, so I take 50% variance, still tat 500k wastage of petrol in a single day just in top 10 cities of India is a significant number) whoa? (The numbers of 4 wheelers and heave automotive vehicles apart just to keep it simple :))
I just don't wanna tell you the problem I think exists, almost everyone knows it. (Education infrastructure is not good, roads are bad, this is wrong that is crap, accepted, but whats the solution?) We Indians are experts in giving free advice (Probably that the only free thing in India :), here even a bar vendor gives tips to FM for budget, an ex- cricketer who never scored century likes giving special notes to Tendulakar about shot selection, one who never got married will give tips about girls selection) so I don't think, I am committing any crime by suggesting some special tips to traffic police head by myself.
First, I would suggest dept. to make a rule about switching off the vehicle at signal. Yeah those fat ass traffic cops who stand just after signal hiding behind some tree so that if any one breaks signal they can have there share of money from the guy (Isn't it like, a beautiful girl in front of standing in front of you and her boyfriend is not visible to you). Instead, Why don't these buggers just stand before the signal and have watch over if everyone has turned of the vehicle and fine those who don't follow it. (Quite tough but not impossible to do) Second, Yeah some guys can really complain (Indians love complaining to any damn thing) that they have ti kick their vehicle again and again when the signal fellas are moving slowly. Yeah here come s a second rule from me. All the new 2 wheelers models getting launched in India must have auto start functionality in it. Yes that would make people at least turn off there bikes. Yeah there would be still some dumb asses who will refrain from rotating there hand by 30 degrees to switch off bikes but u just cant help them. With our government taking some bold steps on these front I am sure, India would save a lot of petrol in year and who knows petrol prices would come back again in control due to decrease in demand fro India. More and above this, why stop and wait government to make those impulsive rule and start following it ourselves as rule for saving petrol (Yeah, Indians don't do it unless they are forced to do it but its time to change)
And if we don't continue following it, the day is not far enough when the advertisement of Save Fuel on TV where a son tells his father that he would like to be a cycle repairman in future, as the way we are wasting petrol in signals, there wouldn't be any petrol left in future, becomes fact of life !!!
P.S. Suggest if any other ideas you have, to stop this petrol wastage crime at signals

The wedding it was !!!

Even after living in south India for nearly 2 years, I still had not attended any function out here. Probably I have most of the my friends from north India. Finally it was 6th march and I had an invitation from my friend to attend the his marriage, a southie friend. I was a little excited to attend first south Indian wedding ceremony and anxious to know how would it be? (after all, I had heard from lotta people saying “Its different”.) That 'different' word was blinking in my head again n again.(Tell any Indian something different or don't do something and they will spend full day thinking about it and finally doing it).
So it began, I joined my other mates to go to the wedding. As usual, despite of deciding over meeting 7 o'clock we met at 8:15 (Indian are pro in missing the right timings and yeah they never miss it). We reached the venue late, as expected didn't find a place to park. And we ended up parking right below the 'No Parking' board (Yes, we like breaking rules).
We entered in the hall, a soft music (ta tan tan ta ta tann) welcomed us, for first few moments, I was a bit confused, why the guys out there were playing a really sad song on such an auspicious occasion instead of a some rock himesh songs (ones played at punjabi weddings which make sure that you have come to the wedding or party). Moving forward was a little uncomfortable (for northie surely). Waiting in a queue to meet couple like FCFS. I never saw such a queue in north India.(I think northie don't believe in any queuing system, yeah they are all netas). After meeting the couple, I was finally relieved, (like who stands in a queue to meet newly weds :)).
Next we headed for which we had gone there for : Dinner. The most significant difference I found was there was no buffet, it was pangat (just heard this name from someone). The southie marriage would be easily one of the most economical ones compared to those happen in north (Dowry apart :)). Yeah, there was queue for dinner even. After finding a place for a dinner, another shocker: instead of a plate, a banana leaf was kept in front of us. As soon as the leaf came people started washing it (Donno but I kinda found it weird and was bit sceptical, aint these leafs washed?). So the dinner started: Dosa, chutney, sabji ….. I took one of each thinking that I will have them later if required. My southie friend was taking 2/3 of each of them, (I was surprised, why is he taking all at the same time, thought he was really hungry). I finished up quickly the items served and was waiting for second round of all those stuffs. But nothing was moving. Finally, I saw rice coming, I refused it, thinking I will first finish the starters and then will go for rice. After waiting for some time (why nothing is coming back again?), I asked some waiter our there for dosa, he said something in kannada furiously. (Donno if he considered that as an insult, but yeah sometimes it helps if you donno local language as even when someone is yelling at you, it doesnt matter much). I asked one of my southie friend that why are items not coming up. He replied every item comes only once. I was like, what the hell? (How can someone limit food in wedding). Immediately he replied everything is done and only last round of rice is left. Now that gave shocker to me. Last round and that even of rice (Now I came to know why he was taking 2/3 pieces of each items in the beginning). Some fella served some rice but this time I was prepared, I asked the rice twice (Yeah, I had to compensate somewhere) Before I finish rice, people around me were already leaving their places. I was like, wait 'm still having my food. I wrapped everything I had. (Is this some fast eating competition, and I am beaten by almost everyone?). I never had food so quickly in my life. I suppose in the time I had my complete dinner, northies don't even finish their first starter. So I quietly left the wedding hall. So that was it from my first southie wedding experience. A bit confused what really happened there.
None the less, after coming home when I thought about it, (though bit surprised), I liked it. It was altogether a different experience. It gave me opportunity to understand different culture (May be I'll use this experience to patao some southie :)). I was feeling much closer to this culture. I got to know what a southie marriage is like and felt happy that I could connect with it. One more thing I liked about it is, people here are more disciplined, organized and economical (Queue to meet new weds, for food / sufficient food instead of having 50-60 items where people cant even eat all and waste most of it and asking each other "Kahan tak liya?"). More than this I realized that, though we are different in lifestyles, we are all together united by some external force which makes us feel that we are part of this(Probably culture). Demographic boundaries can only separate us in terms of religions, climate, customs, languages and traditions, but not the way we think. I feel culture of India is an amalgamation of diverse sub-cultures spread all over the country where nothing is superior than other. Somewhere I feel, all these arts, dance, music, paintings, marriages, festivals, costumes have originated from same culture (Indianism may be, in IT language have same base class). Ultimately, though we are demographically divided, we are culturally united !!!
Important Lesson learnt: Food items are served only once, so take what you want in one shot.:)

Dry Jokes: Spice of the life !!!

Dry Jokes: Spice of the life !!!

Call them dry jokes, bad jokes, sad jokes, poor jokes, pakau jokes.. and whatever you want to call them !!.. The jokes are of the level which irritate you to the core and puts you in a condition where you are confused whether to laugh or cry. Accepted, all the derogatory terms you use for them and you look upon them. But whats the sole purpose of the jokes : Laugh or at least smile, isn't it? Then how does it really matter if they are sad ones or the pro ones.The problem I find people accepting them is they compare these jokes with the ones delivered by pros. But we need to understand these jokes are well written, scripted and edited by pros. And in real life you really don't have time for all of these things. Jokes delivered on shows or TV are delivered by likes of raju shrivastav, else imagine Bobby Deol delivering stand up comedy or Amrish puri delivering some comedy dialogue .. nah !! just doesn't fit in. The problem is we take joke seriously. I never understood this that how a joke can be serious, but that's the way we take it.
Our day-to-day life has become so busy that we really don't have time to look at ourselves. The daily routine of mails, office, networking, bugs, designs blah blah has simply taken away the most important thing that all of us want to achieve ultimately : Happiness. The week days are just full of tasks and routine and week ends may be some movies, outing and chatting. But the question is where is the spice? So aint these so called “Dry jokes” spice of the life? And the bigger question I want to ask those who call them 'Pjs' or whatever, how many jokes do u really remember really have brought smile on your face. But I am sure, you laugh more on the dry ones. Ask yourself and you will simply remember tons of dry jokes which you would cherish (From 201 bus number to long hair) all included. Just imagine how many time you laughed on those joke while saying those are dry jokes and how many liters of blood you would have gained out of it.
Time, is changing so we are, but the only thing that remains constant is :to be happy. People go for laughter therapy in the morning to laugh. I really pity them they don't even have friends who can make them laugh at least once in day. How many moments do you remember when you are laughing to the core except when u watching some movies, or laughter shows – one or two? Not even that. People take pride that they don't crack “Pjs”, the problem is they never crack jokes forget about they cracking any adjectives jokes like Pakau or something. When you are hungry even a bread and pickle does the job of chicken when you are empty stomach. The day is not far when schools, organizations etc will make it necessary to have laughter session once a day.
Lets have a different angle to these PJs all together. I somehow find that these people are creative and have lateral thinking, or who else can even relate a Rs201 bill to Indira Nagar bus, or confuse Egg roll with movie role, or tiger with tiger biscuits and tons and tons of them.
Let them be irritating or whatever you wanna call them. One thing is sure, these jokes are surely the spice of 21th century life.