Best Commercials !!

IPL just got over. It was like a national event, which had more TRP than any other TV program in Indian TV history. All the advertising punters put up their brains together to get maximum viewers attention. There were lot of TV commercials launched during this IPL season. Electronic items, cars, bikes, soft drinks, banks, telcom-providers, mobiles, etc. companies aired lot of commercials but only some ads just impressed you with their creativity and presentation.

Here is my take on the commercials aired during IPL. Top 5 ads during IPL according me are:

5. Zoozoo (Vodafone)
In last last year IPL, this was undoubtedly the best ad in the season. Vodafone has always came up with catchy ads with different characters involved in the ad. Initially a small puppy was a brand ambassador for Vodafone and now zoozoo (white,lovely creatures with ballooned bodies and egg heads) portraying extremely different characters who will immediately catch your attention. This IPL, again I had expected something innovative and creative from Vodafone but was disappointed. Nevertheless zoozoo ads are still top ads and cool to watch !!

4. Docomo (Tata)
Docomo too came up with lot of ads but this one specially caught my attention. A simple ad with no stars and only expenses during ad would be tattoo on the girls back, the ad simply leaves smile on your face when ending. The ad goes like ..
A girl asking her mother nervously, "I want to show you something." As the mother looks on, she shows her the tattoo on her back.The mother looks at it surprisingly.Instead of scolding her, she compliments her daughter for the tattoo.The ad ends up with tag line: Hear what you want to hear. Now with My Song hear your tune when you call.

3. Airtel
There were series of ads air by Airtel during this IPL season with Sharman Joshi playing lead in all of them. A bubbly acting by Sharman has really lifted the bars for these ads. Simple but connecting with day today life, these ads are connecting with junta. Asking money from father, Bargaining with a salesman, asking girlfriends brother to give her the phone at night etc. these ads are short and entertaining. One of the ad goes like ..
Sharman Joshi tries to bargain with the salesman as he tells him "Main Delhi se aaya hun". Thats's when he gets a call from his mother.He tells his mother that the salesman is not ready to offer any discounts. Sharman offers his phone to the salesman so as to make him speak to his mother. But the salesman refuses.His mother suggest 1200 as the price for the saree but the salesman refuses yet again. Thats when the salesman tries to stop him and speaks to his mother on phone.Having handed over his mother's phone to the salesman, Sharman looks too sure to crack the deal. The ad ends with the tag line: "Baat karne se hi baat banti hai!".

2. Oongli Cricket (Idea Cellular)
With new Idea of oongli cricket, Idea Cellular came up with some of the really funny and short commercials in this IPL. With 'Sirji', - Abhishek Bachchan, as Idea brand ambassador , these series of ads interestingly have highlighted some intriguing statistics about cricket matches being played. With some of the quirky question asked by Sirji and the reply for it by a peon makes these ads interesting. The ad involves only 3 characters. AB as Boss, one peon and a secretary (Useless, but sexy for some viewers). The ads start with the Idea oongli cricket questions like - "Aaj ke match mein cheerleaders kitne baar nachengi?" "Aaj ke match mein kitne stumps tutenge?", "Aaj ke match mein player kitni baar bhagwan ko yad karega?", "Aaj ke match mein kitni baar batsman bat change karege?" and smart, innocent replies by the peon make these ads must watch.

1. Rotomac Pen
This one is tricky. Some people surely would consider this as the worst ad during this IPL season, but dont know why I like this ad alot. When I saw this ad for the first time, I did not get what the ad is all about and criticized it alot. Now wenever this ad comes I have a great laugh. The ad is simple with double meaning involved in it. Spanning for not more than 10 seconds, the ad would have been made in less than 1000 bucks, with no big star involved and no big set up.
Ad goes like...
Its raining at back and a daunting figure (gunda) asks a modern dude .. "Kya karoge ..... Likh kar?", the dude replies "Kya karenge ...... Likh kar phad denge" .. and the rotomac pen is shown. Surely unable to grasp at first go but if you know the other meaning of "Phad denge", its a good watch :)

Bannerghatta National Park (BNP)

Its been nearly 2 years that I am in Bangalore. During this time I have been to many places in Bangalore but could not go to a major tourist attraction of Bangalore, Bannerghatta National Park (BNP), situated 22 km south of Bangalore. Last Saturday, I decided to go to BNP at least once. I called up my brother and cousin (Yeah, if you have your elder brother with you in outing you save a lot of money :)). Fortunately, both of them agreed. So it was decided that sunday we would go to BNP.
10:00 am, I reached my brother's place, had my breakfast, packed up some snacks stuff and finally at 11:00 am, we all were all set to leave for BNP. We caught a bus from Dairy Circle. It took us one and half hour to reach to BNP. Being exhausted because of long Bus journey (Yeah, I would call that as journey though in Bangalore being so far). First thing we did after reaching there was, ate we had brought from home (So whatever snack we had planned for full day was over in first break) . My brother got a safari tickets for us, Rs. 160.00/- per head. It looked like fairly high price for a Government park but fair if you see it as full day time pass. Initially i though, there will be less crowd as who takes risk to go so far out of the city. But i was surely wrong. The first thing i saw as i entered was, there was long queue, might be 100 odd people. (Yeah ! I hate queues, but once you have given 160 bucks no matter how long the queue is :)).
So we got in a queue. There was a gate in front of the queue, people said the gate opens as the bus comes and then the queue moves ahead by 15-20 people. For next 30 min not a single time the gate opened (Donno if the buses got punctured). Finally the gate opened, I could see 2 buses had come out. Smile was back on face (Yeah, finally after 30 min. we were moving our asses from bench). As we were moving ahead, I heard the gatekeeper was shouting 3 members ... 3 members. For few seconds I could not understand, why the fellow was shouting when so many people were in a queue. I got it. The bus was full and it could accommodate only 3 members. The people near the gate were in big groups, so they were not ready to go in. There were some couples but the girl could not take risk of jumping over the bars which channelize the queue. So we three got a chance. We jumped over the bars and reached the gates before any other 3 member group pitched in. We all were set for a wild life safari.

I had never been to such wild life safari. I was really excited about it. The bus started, and the guy in front started giving his commentary about animals and BNP in Kannada. So obviously it was useless for me. But as and when any animal was visible the driver used to stop the bus for some time and let everyone have good view of that animal. I think those guys had different section for all the animals (So that animals don't eat each other). One by one yak, deer, antelope, bear, lion, tigers passed and our safari was over. There wasn't anything wild I could see in those animals (Yeah, they all were calm, taking rest, relaxing as if telling us, you all are fools :)). Though short (just 45min), having not seen these animals in my life except in a picture I enjoyed it. The best part was, as the guy in front used to shout animal animal ... everyone would look here and there and whichever side the animal was all the people would just gather in half the part of the bus. It was fun while people were falling, shouting for view.
Safari was over, the next destination was Zoo. After a light snack, We all headed towards zoo. Animals which were just names in a bio book were right in front of me. Peacock, different kinds of pigeons, monkeys, parrots, pythons (I cant even see them on TV, I hate them but today they were just in front of me and they were really scary), King cobra, zebra (Didn't know this animal is so big), crocodiles, Hippos (they are really big), ducks, swans, different kinds of snacks, elephants and lot of others whose names also i don't remember. Having a round of a zoo for next 3 hrs, we were completely exhausted. Finally, we sat down at some place and had some light snack (Yeah we would have had 4-5 rounds of snack, its best time pass according to me). When we were just about to leave, it was white peacock who stole the show. With his colored plumage fanned, it was out of the world sight. Right next to it was a golden colored bird, which was cool. These out of the bio book animals were cool to see.



At 5:30 pm, after finishing almost everything in the park, we were back in our bus. It was a wonderful experience. (Don't know why i did not come to this place in last 2 years). Lots of wild animals, it was surely a trip worth. While coming back just a though struck me, Why do people kill these animals? they are just so innocent. When I saw them in park, they were just so calm, composed and cute. Well, answer is surely Money. But as you have charges on killing a man shouldn't there be same charges for killing an animal. I had even a bigger question, why they are caged even? obvious answer would be, they are well protected and they are dangerous. So many questions but I was just not in a position after so much exhaustion to ponder about them. But then I remembered one which I had read long back.
Once a baby camel asked his mother, “Why do camels have humps?” Mother said “Well son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water in deserts”. Baby said, “Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?” Mother said, “Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert! they make our life easy” Baby said, “Okay, then why are our eyelashes long?”. Mother proudly said, “Son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind”. Baby after thinking said, “I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protect my eyes from the desert then what the hell are we doing here in the Zoo!?”
Really, a man can do anything to keep himself happy. If man doesn't like the job he just changes it. Just imagine about these animals, far from there abode they have been kept in this zoo and why?, because man wants to entertain himself. whats the use of those feathers if birds are not allowed to fly. whats use of tiger's power, if it is if its not allowed a prey. The lion, the king of the jungle is so helpless in a zoo that even a kid can hit him. Just all their powers, skills, abilities are useless in this zoo. Ultimately who wants be slaved. Man can give a lot of reason like these wild animals are dangerous, they can kill people .. blah blah blah .. but you can not deny the fact that freedom is what is snatched from them. what an irony, the wildest and the most dangerous animal was missing from the zoo .. Man !!!

Maja hi kuchh aur hai

Friends, I had heard "Maja hi kuchh aur hai" Vynag sometime back from my cousin, but never found it on net. I tried my best to to recollect lines of this vyang and recollected some of them. "Maja hi kuchh aur hai" is a keen observation of society. I have added lot of my observation in this vyang (as could not recollect much from original :) ). I enjoyed it a lot, I Hope you too enjoy it.

Maja hi kuchh aur hai !!

Daton se nakhun katne ka
mugfali ke thele se mungafali chakhne ka
chaat wale se fokat ki chatni dalwane ka
aur BMTC ke bus ke seat mein se spunge nikal neka
Maja hi kuchh aur hai !!

Ek hi khuti pe dher saare kapde taang neka
dusron ki chithhiya padhne ka
line tod ke aage badhne ka
aur mange hue scooter ko tez chalane ka
Maja hi kuchh aur hai !!

Chori se fal ful todne ka
Kharab tube light aur matko ko fodne ka
sunday ko dophar tak sone ka
aur thuk se ticket chipkane ka
Maja hi kuchh aur hai !!

Office mein late aane ka
Kaam kar raha hun dikhane ka
Saale se zabardasti paan mangawane ka
aur saali ki peeth thapthapa ne ka
Maja hi kuchh aur hai !!

Aarti mein phata hua note chadha ne ka
paan ko idhar udhar thukne ka
kaamjor se be wajah ladne ka
aur Chalti train mein chadhne ka
Maja hi kuchh aur hai !!

haath chhod ke cycle chalane ka
traffic mein horn bajane ka
FB pe dusro ki profile dekhne ka
aur bathroom mein besura gane ka
Maja hi kuchh aur hai !!

Chorahe pe doston ke sath mehfil jamane ka
exam mein cheating karke pass hone ka
bukhar ke bahana banake chhuti marne ka
aur copy-paste karke document banane ka
maza hi khuchh aur hai !!

bewajah jhoot bolne ka
kursi pe baith ke kaan mein pen dalne ka
bus mein dusre ke kandhe pe sir tika ke sone ka
aur barat mein press kiye hue kapdo ko firse press karwane ka
maza hi khuchh aur hai !!

pehli barish mein bhigne ka
chhoto ko zabardasti datne ka
paise walon ko gali bakne ka
aur Theater mein corner seat pe baithne ka
maza hi khuchh aur hai !!

Naye saal pe dukandaar se calendar mangne ka
padosan ko ghur ghur ke dekhne ka
Apna kachra dusre ke ghar ke samne fekne ka
aur itni ghatiya kavita sunane ka
maza hi khuchh aur hai !!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. : You keen observations of society are welcome :)

Railway Station !!

Sunday Morning 9:oo am, My brother called me up and said "Brother, what are you doing?” (This is a tricky question.) I though may be my brother is gonna take me for outing, I said “Nothing”.(He got me). “Ok. I got a work for you. You have to go to railway station and cancel my reservation." (Yes! your brother never asks you he always tells you). I had to say "Okay" and got ready by 10 (Sunday morning 10 am ready ... it sucks). I went to my brother's place, picked up ticket and went to Bangalore city junction.

I reached Bangalore city junction, parked my bike and went to reservation office. As soon as I entered the reservation counter lobby, first 5 secs I was shocked. I could not decide what to do? .. I could just see a long queue with frustrated faces. 5 mins I stood away from queue to see how fast the queue was moving ahead. After seeing that queue is moving with rocket's speed (in 10 min 2 people moving), I could not dare to get into queue.

There were 8 counters to assist people for reservation/ cancellation. Looking that sight was pretty good. Suddenly a question striked me, if there are 8 counters, why the queue is not moving at all? Even if I consider 10 min per person to serve, in worst case the queue should move 6-7 people in 10min. Trying to figure out what was happening, I moved ahead and got my answer. Out of 8 windows 2 had banners "Lunch Time 1-1:30". I saw my watch it was 11:30 (May be my watch was slow or those people were following Thailand timings). 1 window did not have any person serving. Cool, 8 counters, 3 are useless (I was simply loving my Sunday morning)!!

After thinking for couple of minutes, I thought of going to Yeshwantpur station (Thinking as it is small, it would be less crowded.) I picked up my bike and headed towards Yeshwantpur. With lot of optimism about empty counter, I entered Reservation lobby and I couldnt have asked for worse situation than what I saw. Only 4 counters to server people and a long queue which was going out of the reservation lobby. I knew my day is gone. But this time I had no option but to stand in queue (Cursed myself a lot for not standing in a queue at Bangalore City Junction, but that normal many time I dont do something and then curse myself for not doing that). Frustrated but couldnt help myself.

After standing in a queue for 30 min I finally got into lobby and got a seat. (I closed my eyes and just felt like Raja relaxing on that seat). While relaxing like never before I felt someone tapping my shoulder. I looked my right, the guy was asking me move ahead as person left to me had already moved ahead in a (Chair)queue. I moved ahead (Yes this is a pain. Stand up every 2 minutes and seat in next Chair). 5 min more and the same guy tapped me and asked something in kannad which I just put question mark on my face. Looked like he understood that I dont understand Kannada he finally asked me "Yeshwantpur-Anantpur gaadi ka number kya hai?" (More frustration. I mean … have I by heart all the trains number in India). I told him to go to the board at back and see the train number of a train he was asking me. He asked me to not allow to sit anyone on his seat by the time he comes back. (Now I was a seat keeper even. God!!). So now everytime I was moving ahead in a queue I had to tell guy after me not to seat on an empty seat after me. 20 min passed the guy dint come back (Donno if he really needed 20min to find train no. did he go out to to have food). Finally he came after 30min.

5 more minutes passed, guy who was sitting 2 seats ahead of me asked me “Bhaiya form bhar do yeh?” "Okay" is what I could tell him. Filled up his form after lot of confusion over his name (Ramlingayyappa) and place he wanted to go Udhagamandalam. Slowly, I was moving closer towards the counter. After couple of chats with other guys around, shouting on a person who was acting smart and going ahead by breaking queue I finally got just next to counter with 2-3 people ahead of me. With smile coming back on face, another fiasco Lunch Break 1-1:30 PM (God .. you cant be doing this to me. Sitting in front of a window could be so frustrating I dint know) Finally 1:40pm the lunch break got over and being first in a queue I got a first chance (First time in last 3 hrs I felt privileged). Finally I got my ticket canceled at 1:45pm

Got outta that lobby cursing my bro and railway dept for spoiling my Sunday morning. But this experience gave me a chance to think about complete system. How does Railway dept decide over how many counters should be there on a station? (I mean 5 working counters on a station like Bangalore is just ridiculous, even a paanwala can tell that you need atleast 10 counters). Government can remove a lot of unemployment by just increasing number of counters on these station by giving employment to more number of people and serving travelers in a better way.

The condition is not only on railway station, every day to day service has same condition Post office, Govt. hospital, RTO office, Passport office, Legislative office, Telephone office, just everything. But welcome to India. Government is not interested in public interest. Here MP's are interested in their statues (Mayawati), IPL franchise (Shashi Tharoor), non-sense comments (Mulayam Singh, "Agar Aurtein sansad mein jayegi toh ladke siti bajayenge" ,, I mean wdf!!), flyover inauguration controversy (Ashok chavan), their dress (Shivraj Patil). These politicians, if they can even think of Indian people for 1 hr a day I think India would be a better place. But who wants to eradicate these problems or what issue these politicians will raise to ask votes in next election.

But I think Indians are now used to it, unless they stand in a queue for every necessary and unnecessary thing, they wont feel good !!!!

BREW (Binary Runtime Environment for Wireless)

With mobile technologies booming one after another Symbian,Palm Pre, Apple iPhone, Android, Blackberry, Windows Mobile, the mobile application develelopment market is surely dynamic and volatile. Every year 1 or 2 more technologies come up with either their upgraded version or all together new platform. BREW by QUALCOMM in same way is is an application development platform, especially for CDMA mobile phones.
BREW provides the high quality mobile application solutions, and offers an extremely sophisticated services and applications for modern hand-held devices. BREW, which is popular for the wireless and telecommunication products, also offers application development platform for CDMA handsets. Now even smart developers started using it for different air systems including GSM/GPRS.

BREW provides following advantages for consumer:
1. High Quality Applications over the Air
2. Instant Messaging and Location based Services
3. Personalize your Mobiles
4. New Range of Applications

Technology:
BREW-enabled handsets can be developed in C or C++ using BREW SDK.Java applications are also supported if the handset has a Java Virtual Machine available For testing applications during the development process.
For testing purpose, BREW applications can be transferred using a USB or serial cable to any BREW-compatible handset using BREW AppLoader from Qualcomm.

Market:
Application development does take less time in BREW, but due to its certification requirement it take longer time to get into market. This certification process may be perceived as an advantage by established software developers because the difficulties associated with testing and development costs create a high cost of entry to developers with low budgets and little time, resulting in less market dilution.
Currently, most developers choose to support both Java ME and BREW, or only Java ME. Java ME may offer a lower cost to market because most carriers allow non-certified Java ME applications to run on their phones. Java ME is widely used in Europe, while BREW is primarily used in the U.S. and Japan. Even in the U.S., Java ME phones have a larger market share than BREW enabled phones. One of the initial advantages of BREW was that Verizon made it easy to purchase applications from the phone, while most Java ME carriers did not. However, most carriers of Java ME phones now offer easy-to-access purchasing portals.
There are now commercial technologies to fully automate porting from Java ME to BREW. This reduces the entry barrier to produce BREW applications by eliminating the need to develop two versions of the same application in both Java and C/C++.

Deals:
On May 28, 2008, Qualcomm and Adobe announced a partnership to integrate Adobe Flash Lite as a supported user interface on BREW.
The global technology giants like Microsoft and Sun Microsystems are already making substantial efforts and investments to woo Indian software developers to work on BREW platforms. This helps these companies to keep the flow of skilled resources (on their platforms) in the software job market, making it easier and cheaper for the software companies to develop applications on their platforms.
BREW is also spreading its wings in the Indian mobile service market. Tata Teleservices that offers CDMA based services, has announced that the company will be offering BREW applications to its customers.
Reliance Infocomm, another CDMA operator, is also expected to announce the launch of BREW applications soon.
Tata Teleservices’ launch of BREW-based products and services will enable its mobile customers to use BREW phones to download games wirelessly, ring tones, communication, e-mail and business-focused applications, virtually anytime, or anywhere. The flexibility of the BREW solution also gives Tata Teleservices the ability to differentiate its service from multimedia messaging services, Web browsers and customised user interfaces.
So with growing mobile market and competition over developing quick, user friendly, extendable applications, BREW is surely a technology to lookout for in coming up years.

Tea Break: Toh chai ho jaye !!

"What happened yesterday?", "Who was the girl with him?", "Which place it was?", "Why is that fix not working?", "How do you do it", "When is your project release", "What did you eat there?" .... all the 'W' in the world just come out like nowhere at this place. This is the place where questions and answers are just formalities and never taken seriously. This is the time and place where though casually, people probably discuss some of the most important and some of the least important things of their lives .. Yes its the tea break place !!!
Many people say that in this fast world, they really don't have time to socialize, they feel alone, they are just not able to balance work-life. Accepted, with so much competition around and time just squeezing it is very much possible to happen !! People plan a lot to just have a break from work and get refreshed. They go to psychiatrist to share there problem with them, join clubs where they share just few words with others (who really don't care), plan a hectic weekend with movie shows, some events and finally end up getting tired.
Movie, Outing, planned meeting, bowling, pool ... what not people keep to get recharged (this is hilarious, like battery we need to be recharged), but that's how it works out now a days. Taking life seriously than required is hampering the life itself. Talk only when you have a point is important but sometimes even light talk can make you feel much relaxed.
One goes office, work hard to get things done and finally you feel that your battery is down, you go home or just work with your showing up one pole (Yes, i am in mobile domain and i like talking in mobile terms). Obviously over the period of time if you spend almost half a day (8 hrs sleep)time at a place you would feel bored due to routine and look for some rechargers.
So this is where these tea breaks I think work as top ups (mobile :)), they simply rejuvenate you and push you to work efficiently and effectively in the later part of the day. With that clock showing 5pm,half of the work place is already down and look for some serious recharger, its a cup of tea that comes to our rescue. Many companies now a days is facing issues like new people coming in are not able to connect with the company culture. I mean what better place and time than a tea break place where one gets to know from CEO to security and from top execs to a new joinee. Managers hold many programs to team building event or moral budgets. What better place than this where you don't have to spend anything still you get to know about a person everything (nature, style, background, attitude)
Really, I love this place. According to me all the appraisals and team meetings should be done here (As I find this is the only place people speak what they really want to speak without any hesitation). What better place to get to know about people than this, where people are just what they are rather than fabricated ones.
After all people say "A lot can happen over a tea !". So whenever getting bored or exhausted always remember "Chai ho jaye !!"

Signal !! Cautious time from Red to Green !!

Yesterday I was riding from kormangala to Hebbal around 7 in evening. It took me more than an hour to ride just 13 kilometers. On my way I would have encountered 5-6 signals, the worst one was near Richmond road. When I reached this signal, first I though that there is some traffic jam, the signal was outta my sight, but later got to know its signal with traffic moving with frequent interval of time. During my 3-4 min there I observed that almost all the bikers have there vehicle engines ON. (Donno if they take pride saying that they have lotta petrol in there tank or money in pocket) Whatever but the ultimate the fact remains same: Wastage of petrol. No wonder We have petrol prices rising every year (oops !! rising every quarter :)).
I don't know why do people keep there engines ON, when the timer is still showing 128 secs. Probably people are not aware of the halke-fulke time passes. (Calling/smsing there girlfriend, seeing sexy banners around with hot models on them, looking around for some new fresh faces, reading some cool quotes on other bikers t-shirt (Careful on this u might end up in weird situation), for chain smokers a puff of smoke may be and lots more from some really creative people) Anyways keeping all this crap apart, I just wanted to analyze this complete situation at traffic signals. (Yeah Indians love analyzing, from budget to cricket to finance to movies, u name it and Indians would have analyzed it).
Bangalore has 15lacs vehicles out f which 70% are 2 wheelers i.e. approx. 10 lacs (http://www.bangaloretrafficpolice.gov.in/bangalore_traffic.htm) (Yeah its always safe to start with fact before going ahead with your crap analysis). 70% of them would be running on roads every day. Considering so many traffic signal in Bangalore, on an average each vehicle would be stopping for 10 mins on a signal and 70% of them wouldn't be turning of those vehicles is what I have observed (Yeah I like assuming 70% but that's what my rough observation is). So cumulative idle time would be (10 lacs * 70% * 70 % * 10min ) = approx 50,00,000 min. Now On an average 2 wheeler give an average of 40km/liter and may be 50 km/ hr so nearly 100000 liters of petrol wasted. This is the story about just one city imagine about those 10 metro cities of India, so just considering some top cities of India is wasting 1000k petrol on traffic signals (I am not a field analyst, neither I am great at estimating and have done a thorough study of these number, so I take 50% variance, still tat 500k wastage of petrol in a single day just in top 10 cities of India is a significant number) whoa? (The numbers of 4 wheelers and heave automotive vehicles apart just to keep it simple :))
I just don't wanna tell you the problem I think exists, almost everyone knows it. (Education infrastructure is not good, roads are bad, this is wrong that is crap, accepted, but whats the solution?) We Indians are experts in giving free advice (Probably that the only free thing in India :), here even a bar vendor gives tips to FM for budget, an ex- cricketer who never scored century likes giving special notes to Tendulakar about shot selection, one who never got married will give tips about girls selection) so I don't think, I am committing any crime by suggesting some special tips to traffic police head by myself.
First, I would suggest dept. to make a rule about switching off the vehicle at signal. Yeah those fat ass traffic cops who stand just after signal hiding behind some tree so that if any one breaks signal they can have there share of money from the guy (Isn't it like, a beautiful girl in front of standing in front of you and her boyfriend is not visible to you). Instead, Why don't these buggers just stand before the signal and have watch over if everyone has turned of the vehicle and fine those who don't follow it. (Quite tough but not impossible to do) Second, Yeah some guys can really complain (Indians love complaining to any damn thing) that they have ti kick their vehicle again and again when the signal fellas are moving slowly. Yeah here come s a second rule from me. All the new 2 wheelers models getting launched in India must have auto start functionality in it. Yes that would make people at least turn off there bikes. Yeah there would be still some dumb asses who will refrain from rotating there hand by 30 degrees to switch off bikes but u just cant help them. With our government taking some bold steps on these front I am sure, India would save a lot of petrol in year and who knows petrol prices would come back again in control due to decrease in demand fro India. More and above this, why stop and wait government to make those impulsive rule and start following it ourselves as rule for saving petrol (Yeah, Indians don't do it unless they are forced to do it but its time to change)
And if we don't continue following it, the day is not far enough when the advertisement of Save Fuel on TV where a son tells his father that he would like to be a cycle repairman in future, as the way we are wasting petrol in signals, there wouldn't be any petrol left in future, becomes fact of life !!!
P.S. Suggest if any other ideas you have, to stop this petrol wastage crime at signals

The wedding it was !!!

Even after living in south India for nearly 2 years, I still had not attended any function out here. Probably I have most of the my friends from north India. Finally it was 6th march and I had an invitation from my friend to attend the his marriage, a southie friend. I was a little excited to attend first south Indian wedding ceremony and anxious to know how would it be? (after all, I had heard from lotta people saying “Its different”.) That 'different' word was blinking in my head again n again.(Tell any Indian something different or don't do something and they will spend full day thinking about it and finally doing it).
So it began, I joined my other mates to go to the wedding. As usual, despite of deciding over meeting 7 o'clock we met at 8:15 (Indian are pro in missing the right timings and yeah they never miss it). We reached the venue late, as expected didn't find a place to park. And we ended up parking right below the 'No Parking' board (Yes, we like breaking rules).
We entered in the hall, a soft music (ta tan tan ta ta tann) welcomed us, for first few moments, I was a bit confused, why the guys out there were playing a really sad song on such an auspicious occasion instead of a some rock himesh songs (ones played at punjabi weddings which make sure that you have come to the wedding or party). Moving forward was a little uncomfortable (for northie surely). Waiting in a queue to meet couple like FCFS. I never saw such a queue in north India.(I think northie don't believe in any queuing system, yeah they are all netas). After meeting the couple, I was finally relieved, (like who stands in a queue to meet newly weds :)).
Next we headed for which we had gone there for : Dinner. The most significant difference I found was there was no buffet, it was pangat (just heard this name from someone). The southie marriage would be easily one of the most economical ones compared to those happen in north (Dowry apart :)). Yeah, there was queue for dinner even. After finding a place for a dinner, another shocker: instead of a plate, a banana leaf was kept in front of us. As soon as the leaf came people started washing it (Donno but I kinda found it weird and was bit sceptical, aint these leafs washed?). So the dinner started: Dosa, chutney, sabji ….. I took one of each thinking that I will have them later if required. My southie friend was taking 2/3 of each of them, (I was surprised, why is he taking all at the same time, thought he was really hungry). I finished up quickly the items served and was waiting for second round of all those stuffs. But nothing was moving. Finally, I saw rice coming, I refused it, thinking I will first finish the starters and then will go for rice. After waiting for some time (why nothing is coming back again?), I asked some waiter our there for dosa, he said something in kannada furiously. (Donno if he considered that as an insult, but yeah sometimes it helps if you donno local language as even when someone is yelling at you, it doesnt matter much). I asked one of my southie friend that why are items not coming up. He replied every item comes only once. I was like, what the hell? (How can someone limit food in wedding). Immediately he replied everything is done and only last round of rice is left. Now that gave shocker to me. Last round and that even of rice (Now I came to know why he was taking 2/3 pieces of each items in the beginning). Some fella served some rice but this time I was prepared, I asked the rice twice (Yeah, I had to compensate somewhere) Before I finish rice, people around me were already leaving their places. I was like, wait 'm still having my food. I wrapped everything I had. (Is this some fast eating competition, and I am beaten by almost everyone?). I never had food so quickly in my life. I suppose in the time I had my complete dinner, northies don't even finish their first starter. So I quietly left the wedding hall. So that was it from my first southie wedding experience. A bit confused what really happened there.
None the less, after coming home when I thought about it, (though bit surprised), I liked it. It was altogether a different experience. It gave me opportunity to understand different culture (May be I'll use this experience to patao some southie :)). I was feeling much closer to this culture. I got to know what a southie marriage is like and felt happy that I could connect with it. One more thing I liked about it is, people here are more disciplined, organized and economical (Queue to meet new weds, for food / sufficient food instead of having 50-60 items where people cant even eat all and waste most of it and asking each other "Kahan tak liya?"). More than this I realized that, though we are different in lifestyles, we are all together united by some external force which makes us feel that we are part of this(Probably culture). Demographic boundaries can only separate us in terms of religions, climate, customs, languages and traditions, but not the way we think. I feel culture of India is an amalgamation of diverse sub-cultures spread all over the country where nothing is superior than other. Somewhere I feel, all these arts, dance, music, paintings, marriages, festivals, costumes have originated from same culture (Indianism may be, in IT language have same base class). Ultimately, though we are demographically divided, we are culturally united !!!
Important Lesson learnt: Food items are served only once, so take what you want in one shot.:)

Dry Jokes: Spice of the life !!!

Dry Jokes: Spice of the life !!!

Call them dry jokes, bad jokes, sad jokes, poor jokes, pakau jokes.. and whatever you want to call them !!.. The jokes are of the level which irritate you to the core and puts you in a condition where you are confused whether to laugh or cry. Accepted, all the derogatory terms you use for them and you look upon them. But whats the sole purpose of the jokes : Laugh or at least smile, isn't it? Then how does it really matter if they are sad ones or the pro ones.The problem I find people accepting them is they compare these jokes with the ones delivered by pros. But we need to understand these jokes are well written, scripted and edited by pros. And in real life you really don't have time for all of these things. Jokes delivered on shows or TV are delivered by likes of raju shrivastav, else imagine Bobby Deol delivering stand up comedy or Amrish puri delivering some comedy dialogue .. nah !! just doesn't fit in. The problem is we take joke seriously. I never understood this that how a joke can be serious, but that's the way we take it.
Our day-to-day life has become so busy that we really don't have time to look at ourselves. The daily routine of mails, office, networking, bugs, designs blah blah has simply taken away the most important thing that all of us want to achieve ultimately : Happiness. The week days are just full of tasks and routine and week ends may be some movies, outing and chatting. But the question is where is the spice? So aint these so called “Dry jokes” spice of the life? And the bigger question I want to ask those who call them 'Pjs' or whatever, how many jokes do u really remember really have brought smile on your face. But I am sure, you laugh more on the dry ones. Ask yourself and you will simply remember tons of dry jokes which you would cherish (From 201 bus number to long hair) all included. Just imagine how many time you laughed on those joke while saying those are dry jokes and how many liters of blood you would have gained out of it.
Time, is changing so we are, but the only thing that remains constant is :to be happy. People go for laughter therapy in the morning to laugh. I really pity them they don't even have friends who can make them laugh at least once in day. How many moments do you remember when you are laughing to the core except when u watching some movies, or laughter shows – one or two? Not even that. People take pride that they don't crack “Pjs”, the problem is they never crack jokes forget about they cracking any adjectives jokes like Pakau or something. When you are hungry even a bread and pickle does the job of chicken when you are empty stomach. The day is not far when schools, organizations etc will make it necessary to have laughter session once a day.
Lets have a different angle to these PJs all together. I somehow find that these people are creative and have lateral thinking, or who else can even relate a Rs201 bill to Indira Nagar bus, or confuse Egg roll with movie role, or tiger with tiger biscuits and tons and tons of them.
Let them be irritating or whatever you wanna call them. One thing is sure, these jokes are surely the spice of 21th century life.